Automate and Simplify

We learn by failing. A good outcome makes links stronger, and a bad one makes links weaker. And we need that negative feedback. If all we ever get is good feedback, then we are slower to master tasks, and more susceptible to crumbling under pressure. When Netball NZ made refs not keep score for young netball players, there was an uproar.  It was shortsighted and a waste of everyone’s time. Sport is competitive. How do you know if what you are doing is right, if you get no feedback. Kids get undirected play from other areas of their lives, whereas when they come to play sport they are there for a reason. We all need to lose sometimes!

The paradox is that to be successful at anything, we need to also be bad at it. We need to make bad calls at work, we need to answer questions in exams in the wrong way, and we need to say the wrong things sometimes. We need to get into sticky situations, so that we know where they are and learn how to avoid them. What Netball NZ did was remove the feedback that told the kids if they had done good or bad. If you’ve ever been in a work situation where you get no feedback on whether you are doing the right thing, then you will realise how fruitless that is.

Getting cosy with failure is a sure fire way to succeed, and often the price of failure is lower than you think. I’ve been in a new job recently and have faced many challenges. One of the challenges is the very different culture that I want to get involved in. I had been putting off attending regular lunch meetings because I didn’t feel comfortable. Then one day I realised, that the rewards of going to these meetings were huge. Job and life success awaited me. What was putting me off? I realised that I was scared I would look like a dork at the meetings by doing something wrong. Once I realised that the prize for looking like a dork was realising some of my dreams, (and the price I paid for not looking like a dork was those very dreams) I started to bite the bullet and face my fears.

Our fear of failure often stems from the social side of screwing up, it stems from not wanting to look stupid. Studies have recently shown that social rejection lights up the same parts of our brains as physical pain. Being shunned hurts! But maybe it’s true what they say, no pain = no gain. In Tim Ferris’s book “The Four Hour Work Week” he ascribes readers exercises to make them feel uncomfortable. I believe that his aim is to get you feeling ok about looking like a dork. The exercises include staring at people for longer than is socially acceptable, and lying down in the middle of crowded places like cafes and supermarkets. Maybe you don’t have to take such extreme measures to get comfortable with the social side of failure. Just try speaking up in the next meeting, or questioning someone rather than agreeing.